Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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