I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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