No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
