i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can you bring me the toilet please
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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