My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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