Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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