goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize