i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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