Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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