So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
