apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
