somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
