I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
