im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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