Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
