Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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