pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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