He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
