the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
