My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize