Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she peed on how many people?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
