Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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