I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
