WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You're like the curious george of whores
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
