so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
