ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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