3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize