Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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