It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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