is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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