Don't you send me to vm
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You don't make any sense
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