Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
