I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize