Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
