please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
