You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
