how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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