things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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