never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
