I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
