She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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