Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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