PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
