I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize