Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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