I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
