there were more penises there than on chat roulette
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
