he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
