Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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