Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize