I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
