He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
