Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
