i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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