Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
