go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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