did you get engaged???
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
